Emotional intelligence is essential for a good understanding within the couple. Everything you need to know on the subject in this article!
For some time now, you’ve been noticing that your partner is becoming more and more cold and distant? It may be a lack of emotional intelligence. How do you recognize this problem? What solutions can you propose to your partner to improve his emotional intelligence? Zoom in on the subject.
Emotional intelligence: what is it all about?
First mentioned a few years ago, emotional intelligence is still unknown to many of us. Emotional intelligence is a form of intelligence that gives us the ability to understand ourselves and others. However, it proves to be of paramount importance in our daily life, especially in our life as a couple.
Also, by improving our emotional intelligence, we can understand and control our emotions such as stress and anger. It also allows us to develop our optimism and boost our motivation. Also, emotional intelligence gives us the ability to manage difficult situations and to be resilient. It should also be noted that emotional intelligence helps us develop empathy.
How to recognize a lack of emotional intelligence in your partner?
Communication remains a key element in the life of a couple. And for optimal communication, emotional intelligence is a must. To identify a lack of emotional intelligence in your partner, observe these few characteristic behaviors to eliminate.
Your partner is easily stressed
If your partner has a low EQ, he or she will tend to repress feelings, which can lead to stress, tension and anxiety. These repressed feelings will put pressure on the body and mind. When your partner is emotionally intelligent, it will be easier for him or her to handle stressful situations. On the other hand, if your partner has a low EQ, he or she may resort to much less effective ways of managing moods. Your partner is more likely to develop depression, anxiety, addiction, and even suicidal thoughts.
Your partner holds a grudge
In response to stress, strong resentment generates negative emotions. If your partner has difficulty forgetting past mistakes, he or she probably has problems with emotional intelligence. So, even looking back on an argument, for example, your partner may feel a survival reflex that makes him run away or fight. However, fuelling stress remains harmful to his body, and in the long term, it may even have a serious impact on his health. Your partner needs to learn to let go of his resentment and stress, and to move on for his well-being and that of your couple.
Your partner often feels misunderstood
When you lack emotional intelligence, it is difficult for you to understand how others perceive you. If your partner often feels misunderstood, it’s probably because he or she has trouble getting messages across clearly and concisely. On the other hand, when your partner is emotionally intelligent, he or she will be able to readjust the way he or she communicates when he or she feels misunderstood.
Your partner never gets angry
Being emotionally intelligent does not mean being kind or empathetic. Rather, it is the ability to manage emotions in order to respond in the best possible way. In fact, emotional intelligence sometimes involves expressing yourself when you’re upset, sad or frustrated. Hiding under a positive and joyful mask and not showing any negative emotions is not constructive for your partner. Depending on the situation, he must know how to express his emotions, whether they are negative or positive.
Your partner is easily offended
When we are fully aware of who we are, we will hardly feel offended by what others may say or do. So, if your partner gets offended at the slightest offensive situation, it is because he has to work on his emotional intelligence. In other words, your partner may be offended when you make even a harmless joke about him. However, emotionally intelligent people are very open-minded and flexible.
What emotional intelligence solutions for your partner?
Your partner’s lack of emotional intelligence is detrimental to his mental and physical health and may impact your relationship. For healthier and more enjoyable communication, offer these practical solutions to your partner to develop his emotional intelligence.
Calm down and manage your impulses
Strong emotions often translate into a drive for action in our bodies. Therefore, your partner must learn to manage his impulses in order to be emotionally intelligent. To do this, he must quickly recover from the overwhelming emotional outburst. When he is emotionally overwhelmed, he loses his ability to think, listen and express himself clearly. Thus, he must learn to calm down to settle a disagreement and for a more optimal communication between you.
You can suggest a few techniques to help him regain his composure, such as
- Distracting himself by listening to relaxing music, watching TV, reading his favorite book or doing activities that interfere with his
- aggressive thoughts. He or she can also indulge in other pleasures such as shopping or playing video games, etc.
- Practicing sports such as yoga, walking, kick-boxing, etc.
- Breathe deeply to lower your heart rate.
- Writing down violent, cynical or hostile thoughts on paper.
- Making a phone call to your best friend, etc.
Practice active listening
For more explicit communication and to develop emotional intelligence, your partner should try to evolve on certain points.
Validate your emotions
Help them show that they are listening to you and that they don’t ignore your feelings and emotions. Teach them to give legitimacy to your point of view by affirming sentences of understanding such as: “I can see that you are upset.”
Remain attentive to the other person’s main messages
It should be noted that judgments and criticisms often express unmet needs. To practice active listening, try to uncover the messages behind the haughty tone, hostile remarks and scornful criticism.